Sunday, October 20, 2013

How to prevent shyness in children

How To Prevent Shyness In Children

Like all other character traits, shyness begins at a young age in children. Left on their own, the children might bring this trait over to adulthood. In many cases, however, shyness can be prevented with the timely intervention of parents and family.

Here are some tips that parents can do to wrest shyness away from their children.

Modeling confidence

Shy parents often have shy children. Parents, consciously or otherwise, stand as models for their children. They should show their children how they interact and express themselves with confidence with other people.

Social skills

Children need to be taught social skills at a very young age. Parents should teach their children how to behave in social situations (saying thank you and please, introducing oneself, etc.) and how to make friends and keep them. It is good to praise them when they show correct social behaviors.

Effective communications

Communicating with others is a very important skill to impart to children. It develops their self-esteem and builds their confidence. Parents should teach them how to express themselves to be understood by others.

Again, parents can set themselves as models on how to communicate confidently. Like always, children learn by example.

Social exposures

Exposing children to varied social situations can polish their personalities. Parents can start having them interact with children their age (schools and play groups) as well as letting them meet up with adults.


Parents can manipulate some situations to make their children feel capable. One way is encouraging them to make decisions (like what they want to wear given a choice of clothes).

Another is giving them chores that are challenging but well within their abilities. (Young girls can be encouraged to help prepare tables or food for cooking, etc.) In all instances, parents should always be there for guidance and help.

Appropriate discipline

The right weight of discipline gives foundation to childrens lives. It allows them to learn acceptable behaviors and those that are not. It helps teach them what to expect from their parents and everyone, and this gives them the feeling of security.

Excessive discipline, however, can swing the wrong way. Severe punishment in the name of discipline tells children they have no control of their lives, and this might result in shyness.

Love and affection

Unconditional love and affection for your children gives them security and confidence. Show them, tell them in words, and give it all in action that you love them no matter what. This assurance of affection is one big factor that boosts self-esteem in children.


One big cause of shyness in children is mistrust of others. Parents should work hard to create a trusting relationship with their children. This trusting relationship has to be nurtured with consistency, honesty and openness so the children would know what to expect.

Inconsistent behavior, broken promises, lies, withheld information these things destroy trust, and consequently, a childs self-esteem. They will become secretive themselves and shyness sets in.

Basically, all these tips can be a big help in nurturing your children away from being shy and leading them into becoming confident personalities who can express themselves. Self-confidence has degrees like shyness has degrees, too. You would know how to prevent shyness in your children when you see it.


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